The very root of your writing whilst sounding agreeable initially, did not settle very well with me after some time. Somewhere within the sentences you were able to make me a believer unfortunately only for a while. I still have a problem with your jumps in logic and one would do nicely to help fill in all those breaks. When you actually can accomplish that, I would undoubtedly end up being impressed.
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The very root of your writing whilst sounding agreeable initially, did not settle very well with me after some time. Somewhere within the sentences you were able to make me a believer unfortunately only for a while. I still have a problem with your jumps in logic and one would do nicely to help fill in all those breaks. When you actually can accomplish that, I would undoubtedly end up being impressed.